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SIX RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who can cook.2. It's important to have a woman who does all house work.
3. It's important to have a woman who is very reach.
4. It's important to have a woman who is very good in bed.
5. It's the most important that these four women would let you go fishing any time you want.
6. It's very important that these four women never meet.
What would you choose?
A or B?
Looooong talk
"WAIT!!! It is very important!
I have to talk to her about all treasures from an old sunken boats."
I FISH THEREFORE I AM!!!
So, man took a long shower, quietly put his close on, and went fishing.
Pleasure is where you find it.
Wow, that's a big one!
I think the only reason why my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone is telling him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
Fishing calms...
Doctor to his patient who is a fisherman: "You have high blood pressure."
Patient: "This is the result of constant fishing."
Doctor: "But fishing is usually soothing, making you relaxed."
Patient: "Not if you are fishing in a restricted area".
A woman, who never saw her husband on the fishing, will never know, for a patient man she married
- Before you married me you used to buy me a lot of gifts. Why have you stopped doing this after our wedding?
- Have you ever heard about a fisherman putting bait on a hook for the fish he already caught?
Bath a worm
Officer to a man fishing at the park: "You are fined $20 for fishing in a restricted area."
Man: "Who said that I was fishing? I just put my worm to swim."
Officer: "Very Good. Then the fine is $50 for swimming in public area without swimsuit."
Hybrid sharks with goldfish:
Performs last three wishes...
A man was fishing on a river. The fish bites, but when he took out the fish he had a surprise: It was a gold fish.
"Hey, fisherman" says the fish," If u set me free I'll give all that u want. Just make 3 wishes and they'll become true."
"Ok, says the fisherman: my first wish: to have a truck filled with money".
"Done", says the goldfish and truck filled with money instantly appeared.
"Second wish: to have in every night a top model to sleep with"
"Done" says the gold fish, and all top-models appeared scheduled for all the year days.
"Third wish: I want that my cock be so long so I can touch the ground with it".
"Done", says the gold fish, and she cuts the fisherman's legs.
Fisherman never lies
- Defendant, you are guilty of fishing without a permit and catching eighteen pikes?
- I confess. But I have a request.
Can I get a few copies of the protocol, so I could prove it to my friends?
Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex?
- A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.
- A red snapper won't cry if you call it a flounder.
- It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
- Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.
- Fish bite for a guy of 60, same as for a guy of 20.
- A big, juicy worm always gets a fish excited.
- Fish don't compare you to other fishermen.
- Fish don't care how many other fish you caught.
- 10 Commandments don't say anything against Fishing
- Fish are real happy when you done and go home.
- No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.
- Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week - Is Fishing all You ever think about!"
- Anything you stick in a fish's face, it eats and never gag, choke, or come up for air.
- Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
- You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
- It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
- When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
- You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.
- If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
Why Fish are Better than Women.
- A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.
- They don't complain about the size of your rod.
- You can take home more than one fish per night.
- Fish are willing to swallow anything.
- You feel proud to be seen with a big fat fish.
- Fish are happy when you throw them back.
- Fish only have five second memories.
- You catch fish on crab, but catch crabs off women.
- You can boast about your fish down the pub.
- Fish don't talk about your tackle with their mates.
- They give you a good night's entertainment and dinner next day.
Why Boats are better than Women?
- Boats last longer.
- Boats don't get pregnant.
- Boats don't have parents.
- Boats don't care if you are late.
- Boats always feel like going for a ride.
- Boats only need their fluids changed every year.
- Boats don't care how many other Boats you have.
- If Boat makes too much noise, you buy a muffler.
- When riding, you both arrive at the same time.
- You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore.
- Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden.
- If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
- Boats don't mind if you ride them hard all day while drinking beer with your buddies, and then fall asleep on top of them.
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